What is suffering?
Monday, April 23, 2012 at 07:48AM 
Is "suffering" a relative term? In other words, is it possible that what one person thinks is suffering, another might think is merely an obstacle? or even something petty?
Consider: we live in America. We might think not having phone service is suffering, having a bad hair day is suffering, having to walk to school instead of getting a ride the three or fewer miles is suffering. (God, help us).
In some parts of the world, people have no phones (no service or tech is available), people have no hair (having no hair helps keep lice problems down), people have to walk. Everywhere.
Who's got it worse?
It seems an easy questions, but maybe suffering has more to do with perspective than is does circumstances, at least in some instances. Oh, being threatened with torture or death, being forced to do labor, being starved--most of us would agree that these are circumstances of suffering.
Even so, perspective plays a part.
Here's how Tim Keller explains suffering in his book King's Cross:
"When the circumstances of life are giving you the desires of your heart, you're content. Suffering happens, we might say, when there's a gap between the desires of your heart and the circumstances of your life, and the bigger the gap, the greater the suffering."
He uses the phrase "desires of your heart." I used "perspective." Are they not connected? Isn't our perspective shaped in many ways by the desires of our heart? If this is right, it follows that if the desire of our heart is for trivial things, trivial things will cause us suffering? (Hmm. Maybe not.)
Ah, I don't know. There's so much more to suffering... and so little of it for most of us in America. I'm not sure most of us are equipped to give discussion of the matter.
Even so, here's the question: what causes you suffering? How's the gap between the desires of your heart and the circumstances of your life? More importantly, what's causing the gap? You?
[image from religiousintelligence.org]
Reader Comments (4)
I think Keller's quote gets to the core of suffering as a very individual experience. Our #firstworldproblems hashtags imply that developing countries have far more suffering than we do: But do they? If looking from an objective, outward-focused perspective, perhaps they do: Dying of hunger is definitely worse than sitting in Houston traffic for an hour in a car without A/C. But if we look at suffering as something going on in our heart, then it becomes a very subjective, individual experience that defies comparison.
If it is an individual experience we can't laugh it off by reminding ourselves that others suffer more. Instead, we should own our suffering: Yes, I know others are dying of hunger. But I really am suffering here on this freeway in the heat. The suffering highlights a gap in my contentment. Instead of being content in every circumstance like Paul, I have desires in my heart that are outpacing what God has placed in my life. If we define contentment as “faith in God's providence” then this suffering really points to a deficit in faith and a soul-gaze that has drifted off my Savior and onto my circumstances (kind of like Peter walking and sinking on the sea).
So it is about perspective: Am I focused on what I think life should be like (by my first-world materialistic standards) or am I looking at Christ as my sovereign provider?
Contentment is wonderful and inspires gratitude. Suffering is a hammer and chisel in the hands of our creator, bringing our spiritual being into a new place. No one wants to suffer, nor would we seek it barring some psychological need to self punish. But it would seem to me to be a necessary part of my spiritual evolution. And indeed it is a personal experience, no matter how major or minor it may seem in comparison to others.
Suffering creates a desire to be closer to God, creates compassion, creates prayer, and so on. At this point in my life the two greatest individual components of suffering are physical pain, and fear regarding the cause. These circumstances ignite the flashing spiritual neon light "trust God". Every time I invoke "trust God" I know it to be true, and it helps so much. Knowing that life in this world is not all there is makes me consider the "worst case scenario" which would be death to me or someone I love. Trusting that death is a doorway does not, however, overcome the inborn insinctive passion to survive and live as long as possible. Grief itself is a type of suffering that causes such pain that the heart swells in it's capacity to give and receive love and compassion. So beloved fellow inhabitants of this schooling ground, as a great "chicken" my prayer for myself and all is that our suffering be brief, fruitful, and that we will notice the birthing of bits of wisdom, love, compassion, and so on. God Bless.
Sam--most excellent observation and explanation. I've heard explanations similar to yours, but not put quite so cogently or usefully. I appreciate your contribution to what you helped turn into a discussion.
Marion--good observations as well. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences--and fears; that's not easy to do. I particularly like your second to last sentence: May our suffering "be brief, fruitful, and that we will notice the birthing of bits of wisdom, love, compassion, and so on." I don't know about the length of suffering we need or that God would have for us, though I agree that I hope it is brief. But, oh, that we would grow from it and through it. May there be bits of wisdom, love and compassion.