Jesus the hero, part 3

As I worked to demonstrate last week, Jesus is a hero. More than that, he is an epic hero. Through his life and work he brings to pass the epic movement in the life of Israel and in the life of the church.

According to Dr. Louise Cowan, there are four "essence" characteristics of epic, which I've simplified with the terms Space, Time, Balance, and Motion. Jesus' life and work exemplifies and embodies each of these essence characteristics. Today, I intend to focus only on how Jesus life and work exemplifies the epic essence of Space.

SPACE

The term Space refers to the space in which mankind lives. In epic, this space is opened up or broadened. The "veil," which separates the natural and supernatural, the material and immaterial realms, is torn or lifted, allowing the hero to see and/or directly interact with the divine. Thus a more intimate relation between the hero and the divine is experienced, and the hero (and mankind by way of the hero) is thus able to see and understand and experience more than his typical space or region of habitation within the created world. In other words, his perception is broadened. In seeing the heavenly realm, the hero (and his people through the hero) is better able to understand and interact within the events and happenings of the physical realm.

We see this breaking through of the veil between mankind and the divine time and again within the life of Jesus. Given the fact that Jesus is divine, this is obvious, but it is no less true in terms of his incarnation as a man as well.

The events leading up to and surrounding his birth and the first couple years of his life demonstrate this opening up of space conclusively. Time and again, angels--heavenly or supernatural beings--appear in dreams, orchestrating how the arrival of the infant hero should be interpreted and handled, as well as how this new-born baby's life ought to be preserved. First, Jesus' earthly "father," Joseph, dreams before the baby is even born: the angel of The Lord appears to him and says, "do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:20-22). Just in this brief interaction we hear divine intervention (the angel's message) and we see that there has been some sort of physical divine intervention as well, for Mary is a virgin yet she is with child by the work of God in the Holy Spirit.

Matthew, the narrator of these events, goes further in demonstrating that this is a unique rending of the barrier between God and mankind when he explains that this birth is a fulfillment of prophecy: "'Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,/and they shall call his name Immanuel' (which means, God is with us)" (Matthew 1:23). So this birth itself is a divine intervention, for in the form of this baby God himself is coming to dwell with mankind. The supernatural is going to be enfleshed in a natural body.

To ensure that this baby's significance is rightly understood and that he is allowed to live, more intervention is required. A star guides the wise men's way to this new-born king that is worthy of actual worship (Matthew 2:2). Herod, the current king, will have none of this, though he'll play along; he intends murder. To keep this from happening, angels appear in the wise men's dreams, indicating that they must not return to Herod. When Herod realizes he's been deceived by the wise me, he goes into a rage and kills all children under the age of two that have been born in the region where this new king has been born. Angels appear three times to Joseph in his dreams, first directing him to take the child and his mother to Egypt (Matthew 2:13-15), then directing him back to Israel (Matthew 2:19-21), then directing him to Galilee (Matthew 2:22-23).

So we see that without divine intervention and a breaking of the veil or barrier between the supernatural and the natural, Jesus' birth would not have happened, nor would his life have been preserved. So space is opened up, and people--Joseph and the wise men and Mary (if we remember that she, too, had dreams--see Luke 1:26-38)--are able to understand more fully what is happening here on the earthly plane because they've had direct contact with the supernatural or heavenly plane of existence.

And this divine interaction between God and man doesn't let up all through the life of Jesus. At Jesus' baptism, John the Baptist declares the coming work of the coming Messiah and then God the Father declares that this Jesus is that coming Messiah indeed (Matthew 3:1-17). Months later at what we call the transfiguration, Jesus will meet with God the father and Moses and Elijah (men who should be dead); God will again declare Jesus' identity (Matthew 17:1-13). Jesus himself will pray time and again, directly interacting with the divine (see Matthew 11:25-26; 26:36-44; John 11:41-42; 12:27-28; 17; etc.). His miracles show that he's connected to the divine--that he is divine. In Matthew 8-9 alone he shows he has control over sickness, the supernatural, the natural, sin, death, uncleanness, and physical deformities or birth defects. All these acts or miracles show that he has authority from beyond the pale of man. And let's not forget his death. The literal veil is torn when he dies (see Matthew 27:51-54), demonstrating this break in the barrier between God and man, the immaterial and the material realm. And, upon dying, Jesus goes to the "underworld," hades, surely a place mortals can't tread.

And then Jesus returns from Hades, from death, from the tomb. So not only does Jesus have a running communion with God the Father, not only does he speak and act with an authority given him from the supernatural (that is, God the Father), not only does he venture to the land of the dead, he actually returns. He is able to pass between the material and the physical, for all of space, all realms, are opened up to him.

All this demonstrates conclusively that the life and work of Jesus demonstrates the epic essence of Space. And, as we continue this study of how Jesus is epic, we'll see that his mission is to do the same for us: open up space, open up reality, open up understanding.

Jesus the hero

In the gospels we find Jesus, the epic hero.

No, he doesn't look anything like Achilles or Odysseus, Aeneas or Aragorn. He doesn't do physical slaying of his enemies, though we could argue that the Pharisees get a fair drubbing on many an occasion. He doesn't lead an army, though we could argue that he is building one--of a sort. He doesn't found or defend a city or nation in the sense that these other heroes do, though we could argue that founding and defending a city--the city of God--is exactly what he's doing.

So Jesus isn't a typical epic hero... but there can be no doubt that so much of what he does and works for is the very motivation, pursuit, and goal of the epic hero. But Jesus is no ordinary epic hero.

What I want to begin working through here are the four essence characteristics that Dr. Louse Cowan discusses in her essay "Epic as Cosmopoesis," and explain how the life and work of Jesus encapsulates each. Today I'll start with the first two.

First of all, in epic the "veil" or barrier between the divine and man, between the supernatural or immaterial realm and the natural or material realm, is opened up. Man is allowed a view of things and creatures that mere mortals are normally not privy to. In the case of Jesus, God the Father speaks to and of this man, his son. Time and again, Jesus and God the Father communicate in, and though we don't usually hear the voice of God the Father in the gospels (that is, his actual words aren't recorded), we know that Jesus is being heard, for his miracles demonstrate that he is heard (see the feeding of the 5,000 for example, Mark 6:30-44).

Secondly, in epic there is an awareness of all of time--past, present, and future. The hero himself lives at a time of utmost importance, a time when the culture of a people group faces possible structural annihilation. The hero is well aware of where his people have been and he knows the possible or prophesied future to where they head. He also often knows--and this is the great weight the hero bears--that he must act or execute a certain function or play a certain role in his present, or the destined or commanded future will not arrive. In many ways (all ways?), the potential future of his people rests on his shoulders.

Clearly this describes Jesus and the time and place when and where he arrives on the scene. He is the Jewish messiah, the promised coming king, who is to bring to fulfillment all that the Jewish people have longed and looked for. He is the climax of their story and the one who will renew God's people and institute a new way to live and move and have being in the Kingdom of God. And... we could say more. The point is, Jesus is all these things, BUT if he doesn't act then the hoped for renewed city and culture and kingdom won't come. All is lost unless God intervenes and his Son the hero carries out his mission.

~~~*~~~
So we're on our way to briefly explaining how Jesus is an epic hero. Later this week we'll explore how Jesus embodies the other two essence characteristics that Cowan describes in her essay.

For now, let me know what you think of this. Does it make sense? Is this a viable way to see and understand the person and work of Jesus?

I really ought to pray

God has ordained that he will be moved by prayer. He actually wants to hear his people's prayers and intends to be persuaded by them, at least some of the time.

A case in point: When Abimelech took Abraham's wife, Sarah, the Lord confronted him and said, "You are dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man's wife" (Genesis 20:3).

Abimelech protests, ending his prayer with "In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this" (20:5).

Clearly, Abimelech's hands are not innocent, for he took a woman. However, the Lord acknowledges the integrity of the man's heart: "Yes, I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me."

We could argue that this exchange between Abimelech and the Lord is a prayer dialogue of sorts. However, God does not respond to Abimelech's protest with a deliverance from the trouble he's caused himself by taking a woman. Rather, God gives him directions on how to rectify the situation: Abimelech is to return Sarah to Abraham.

What is interesting in regard to this brief discussion on prayer is the reasoning God has behind this returning of Sarah to Abraham. God says, "return the man's wife, for he is a prophet, so that he will pray for you, and you shall live." Do you see the three purposes for returning Sarah?

1. Abraham is a prophet

2. He will pray for Abimelech

3. Abimelech will live (and not die, which would be the consequence for not returning Sarah)

Now if this is a prayer dialogue, and God is hearing Abimelech, why can't Abimelech make the case for himself? Rather, why doesn't God answer the case Abimelch makes for himself with a favorable answer? The simplest answer (and I know this is a complex scenario) seems to be that God intends to hear Abraham's plea. He intends to hear the prayer of his prophet. Why?

Because God has ordained that he will hear the prayers of his people.

And this means he will hear prayers from his people on behalf of others. He will be moved favorably toward others based on the faith and requests of his people.

~~~*~~~

If it is true that God hears the prayers of his people, then why don't we pray more earnestly? Why don't we pray more broadly? Why don't we pray... at all?

I ask this not as an indictment, but rather as a realization and as a confession. I believe all that I've said--and more--about prayer, yet I am unmoved to make prayers as I ought... as I need... as is healthy for my heart and soul.

If you get a chance or feel the urge, let me know your thoughts on prayer. How often do you pray? Do you have any pointers or wisdom on prayer?

Jesus Journal #28

Fasting. "Fasting? As in not eating for an extended period of time?" Yes, fasting. Fasting, like prayer and giving, is a Christian discipline, just as it was a discipline or practice of the Jewish people that made up Jesus' audience when he delivered the Sermon on the Mount.

Jesus groups these three traditional practices together in the Sermon, for many of those in his audience had been practicing them, but with greatly skewed motives and for an audience other than God. Jesus first addresses giving and then prayer (see Matthew 6:1-15), and then moves into a discussion of fasting. And, like the other teachings in Jesus' sermon, his teaching on fasting follows a triadic structure.

Here is the passage in full:

 ¹⁶ “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. ¹⁷ But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:16-18)

Outlined into triadic structure, it looks like:

A. Traditional teaching: Fasting

B. Vicious cycle: Disfiguring of the face for attention.

C. Traditional teaching: Take care of yourself and fast in secret.

~~~*~~~ 

Fasting is about self-denial and self-discipline. It is a practice that is meant to draw a person into self-conscious awareness and fellowship with God. Fasting is often an act of humility (see Psalm 35:13; Isaiah 58:3, 5), done in response to sin and guilt (see Nehemiah 9:1, 2). Sometimes, fasting is done in order to plead with God for future mercies, as Esther had the people do before she went in to plead with King Xerxes or as Ezra did before leading the exiles back to Jerusalem. Fasting is an act of bringing our bodies into submission to service of our heart and mind, as an athlete disciplines his body so he can perform at his best (see 1 Corinthians 9:24-27). Fasting reminds us of our great blessing and can make us mindful of the poor and those who don't have food on a daily basis.

Fasting is, indeed, practiced for many reasons, but do any of them have to do with drawing attention to ourselves? The hypocrites, or play-actors, that Jesus mentions do it for personal gain--they do it for personal accolades! This is a turning of a good, spiritual practice on it's head. As Glen Stassen explains in his book Living the Sermon on the Mount, practicing fasting in this way is a vicious cycle. It's a continual effort to draw other's attention and win their approval. And, the reward is paid in full, here on earth: "they have received their reward." How valuable is such a payment? how lasting? how satisfying?

Jesus would have us fast, yes, but do it in a private manner. We are not to draw attention to ourselves with false shows of piety. We are to seek God in the practice. The result? A reward from him. How do you think a reward from God will fare in this world in which all seems subject to decay and fading, from our material goods to our relationships to our reputations? It will last and it will satisfy. 

~~~*~~~

I'd not have you respond merely to sound your own trumpet (wouldn't that be ironic?), but do consider your last fast. When was it? For what purpose? What sort of good or reward did you gain?

Jesus Journal #25

Today I come to the sixth transformative initiative that Jesus offers in the Sermon on the Mount, namely "love your enemies." This initiative follows on the heals of his teaching regarding vengeance, almost as if he's taking his teaching on paying back evil with good a step further. Not only is the Christian to not practice retaliation; he or she is also to actually love his enemies. Love them. How simple is this imperative to grasp, yet how difficult to put into practice.

Here is the passage and the triad outline, per Glen Stasson's reading of the Sermon:

Matthew 5:43-48:

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

a. Traditional teaching: "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy"
b. vicious cycle: only loving those near, only loving those who love in return
c. Transforming initiative: love enemies, pray for them

~~~*~~~

Unlike the other traditional teachings named in these first six triads, this one ("You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy") is not a teaching found in the Old Testament--in any exact form. Rather, it is likely a mixed up reading of the OT, one that served the Pharisees' purpose, namely, not needed to love anyone other than Israelites. In Leviticus 19:17-18, Moses explains “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your  neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." Apparently, the Pharisees equated "brother" and "neighbor" (as I've emphasized in my quoting of it), and interpreted them as referring to the same set of people: "sons of your own people", or children of Israel. This might not be an altogether falsified reading, for it seems that the words DO refer to the same group of people. However, the end of this same chapter of Leviticus clearly says they should treat others beyond the children of Israel with kindness as well: "You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God" (19:34).

Jesus' teaching in the Sermon on the Mount attacks this limited (and limiting) interpretation of the law. He would have his people go beyond the vicious cycle of only loving those who love them in return or only loving those of like nationality. He would have his people be like God--and love even their enemies.

Why? Why would he have his people love even their enemies? He comes right out and says it: "so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven." God provides sun and rain for even the evil people. Clearly, He goes above and beyond what they deserve. He actually shows them kindness and love. His people should do likewise. Again, for us who are called sons of God--who were once enemies, you'll recall-- this is simple to grasp, yet hard to practice.

~~~*~~~

Jesus wraps up these first six triads with what appears to be an impossible command: "You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." We need to understand that this word "perfect" doesn't primarily mean "without fault or blemish." Furthermore, Jesus isn't asking us to live up to some lofty ideal of moral perfection. Rather, he is telling us to be complete or mature--as God the Father is complete and mature--for the word translated here as "perfect" can be translated as "complete" or "mature" (see 1 Corinthians 2:6; Philippians 3:15; Colossians 1:28, etc.). 

So what is Jesus saying? He's saying our love needs to be complete and mature, that is, even extending to our enemies. As Stasson puts it, "It means to launch out with the love of God for the enemy, which goes out to all."

~~~*~~~

As I've said two times already, these transforming initiatives Jesus gives in Matthew 5:21-48 are easy to grasp, but difficult to practice. But we need to remember that this isn't just good advice; it comes in the midst of the good news of the gospel. God has come to earth, Emmanuel. The kingdom of God is at hand (Matthew 4:17). Repent and believe. These six transforming initiatives Jesus gives in this chapter? Yes, Jesus lived them himself. I'll end with N.T. Wright's encapsulation of these initiatives:

Jesus "opened up the new way of being human so that all who follow him can discover it... The Sermon on the Mount isn't just about us... It's about Jesus himself. This was the blueprint for his own life... The Sermon on the Mount isn't just about how to behave. It's about discovering the living God in the loving, and dying, Jesus, and learning to reflect that love ourselves into the world that needs it so badly."

After the funk, praise the Lord

This past Monday I was in a cloud. Depression, fear, the want to bail out of my life... something had my soul. I'm not sure I've identified the root cause of my feeling of malaise, but I do know the way out.

For me, it has been continuing to live, continuing to read, continuing to attempt to pray, continuing to serve.

It's now Sunday morning. I literally woke with a start--I jumped. Like my blue funk, I'm not sure of the cause, but I awoke at six, wondering of demons, sleep disorders, bad dreams, a full bladder (pardon my candor).

Regardless of the cause of my sudden awakening, I went into the bathroom--the only place I could find here at my parents' house where I would not wake anyone else--sat on the floor and read the last several chapters of Deuteronomy and the last several Psalms. Deuteronomy records the end of Moses' days, his warnings and admonitions to the people, and the passing of the mantle to Joshua. And, Moses gives his final blessing to Israel. There is hope for the tribes, though they will turn away from God and he will this turn away from them. Yes, there is blessing and hope of return for them.

The last few psalms are songs of praise. These are a fitting conclusion to a book of songs. And, coupled with the end of Deuteronomy's warnings and promises, they are a fitting conclusion to a reading of that book. And, they are a fitting close to my week of emotional, mental, psychological struggle.

~~~*~~~
Today marks the beginning of a new week for us. Wherever you are in your life, remember the blessings of the Lord. Remember to "choose life, that you and your offspring may live, living the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days" (Deuteronomy 30:19b-20a).

Remember with me to praise him as we find in Psalm 150:
1 Praise the LORD! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens!
2 Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness!
3 Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp!
4 Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe!
5 Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD! Praise the LORD!

Are you happy to give?

At the end of 1 Chronicles, David is making preparations for the construction of the temple. Over the course of his kingship, he's gathered insane amounts of wealth and supplies to build the temple, but the Lord forbid him from actually doing so due to his being a man of war.

After David relays to the people all the gold, silver, bronze, etc., to the people, he asks them "Who then will offer willingly, consecrating himself today to the LORD?" The people answered as one. As David had done, the people gave gold, silver, bronze, iron, and those who had precious stones gave those.

Although the scene is not described in any amount of detail, it must have been quit a sight to see. First Chronicles 29:9 describes the people's response to their giving: "Then the people rejoiced because they had given willingly, for with a whole heart they had offered deeply to the LORD. David the king also rejoiced greatly." Again, not a lot of detail, but can't you see the smiles, can't you hear the noise as the people clamor and celebrate their gift to God?

Notice how they gave: with a whole heart. Somehow in this moment of preparation for the building of the Lord's house, the people were united not only as a group but as individuals--in their whole being. Despite whatever sins they have committed or will commit, despite the struggles of war and conflict with the Philistines, the people are altogether glad to give in this moment. What's more, they seem to "get" what they're doing, which is collectively honoring God in they're giving.

The day ends with a feast--a tremendous celebration to the Lord in which they eat and drink "before the LORD... with great gladness" (1 Chronicles 29:22). All is right among them and between them and God. A joyous occasion indeed.

~~~*~~~
Have you ever found yourself in a "whole heart," all the way committed to and delighted in the Lord--even for a moment? Has it led you to give?

One Sentence

"Men who do not know God must always lurch and wobble." ~Douglas Wilson

Where does authority lie?

With yet another presidential candidate debate before us tonight, we have much to look forward to, if, that is, if we look forward to fact-slinging, interruptions, question avoidance, and irrelevant evidence for questions that never stand a chance of being directly answered.

To tell the truth, I'll probably watch the debate, and I'll probably feel pretty tired after it's over, just like I did last week. Our two primary nominees, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, are just following suit and dancing to the dog and pony show we've set up for them. Sure, some serious issues will be raised--and maybe even addressed--but nothing of great substance will come from these fenced in fisticuffs. All we'll remember is the men's demeanors--how they handled themselves. This may be enough to help us decide who to vote for, but it doesn't really get us to the heart of the issues at hand.

(Okay, maybe we'll remember more, but if our interest or concern over Romney's supposedly disastrous use of figurative language is any indicator, we may remember something as silly as a purportedly misspoken phrase. Has it come to this? We can't overlook typical, everyday forms of using the English language? We all know what he meant. Think about it: a binder actually full of women? Yeah. That makes sense.)

Anyway, let me propose a question that ought to be in all of our minds as we consider who we're going to vote for in the up-coming election. We need to ask--and, at the very least, begin to answer--the question Where does authority lie?

Many of the issues we're contending over as a nation are really just residual effects of our lack of understanding of and consensus on where authority lies. In general, we're a nation of individuals who have been operating on the assumption that everyone's own opinion is the authority for them, so our politicians have to go and court the opinions of as many people as they can so said politicians can gain acceptance and, thus, authority. So individuals tend to think or at least function as their own authority. In turn, they choose which authorities they'll submit to, which ones they'll follow, so long as the elected authority does what the person likes. I grant that many of us base our opinion on a deity or a document, but we still function like we are our own ultimate authority.

I know there's much more to say, and much more IS being said all over the internet, the television, in magazines and newspapers. I also don't want to do a diatribe about how all authority lies within and comes from God. I'll just let Psalm 2 speak for me. I don't necessarily know how acknowledging God's authority plays out in every issue, but I do know that it needs to be our starting point.  

Psalm 2

Why do the nations rage
and the peoples plot in vain?
² The kings of the earth set themselves,
and the rulers take counsel together,
against the Lord and against his Anointed, saying,
³ “Let us burst their bonds apart
and cast away their cords from us.”

⁴ He who sits in the heavens laughs;
the Lord holds them in derision.
⁵ Then he will speak to them in his wrath,
and terrify them in his fury, saying,
⁶ “As for me, I have set my King
on Zion, my holy hill.”

⁷ I will tell of the decree:
The Lord said to me, “You are my Son;
today I have begotten you.
⁸ Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage,
and the ends of the earth your possession.
⁹ You shall break them with a rod of iron
and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.”

¹⁰ Now therefore, O kings, be wise;
be warned, O rulers of the earth.
¹¹ Serve the Lord with fear,
and rejoice with trembling.
¹² Kiss the Son,
lest he be angry, and you perish in the way,
for his wrath is quickly kindled.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

My skewed version of the "golden rule"

The so-called "golden rule" says, "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12). When Jesus said this, he was not offering a formula for somehow getting people to treat you the way you want to be treated. His intention was for his audience (and us, since we are his current audience) to think in terms of those around them, not only of themselves. If the "golden rule" is merely a formula for somehow subtly persuading those around us to treat us as we wish, then this defeats the concept of thinking beyond our own interests and desires. 

It is true that Jesus assumes that we want to be treated a certain way, but what he is teaching is that we are to treat people a certain way--regardless of how we are treated. In Luke, the "golden rule" is given in the context of loving enemies (Luke 6:27-36). The whole passage deals with handling personal abuse and being wronged. We are to be imitative of God, who is "kind to the ungrateful and evil" (6:35). 

So the "golden rule" is a principle to live by. It's as if Jesus is saying, "You want people to treat you well, right? Well, then treat them well." But he uses this analogy to give his audience an idea of what our mindset should be.

The truth of the matter? This is a difficult mindset to have and live by. I'm constantly trying to instill this perspective in my girls, explaining that this is how God would have us live and handle ourselves among others. They struggle with it, constantly vying for what is theirs and what is "fair" (as they see it). The "golden rule is far from their minds. They only see how they are being treated and they respond in kind. 

But here's the sobering truth: I'm the same way. Like my kids, I tend to treat people in ways that mirror how they treat me, not in terms of how I would like to be treated. If my wife or kids are not treating me well, I don't think "Oh, this is my wife; I'm to love her as Christ loved the church. Oh, this is my kids; they are in my care and I am to raise them up in the fear and admonition of The Lord." No. I often get snappy, sour, angry, bitter, frustrated... or worse, preachy. 

Just as I'm astonished to see this in myself whenever it comes up (although who knows why I'm surprised; it's not like this is a new phenomenon), I'm also glad for the revelation. I know I'm like this; I know I'm struggling with it. It's likely my wife and kids are struggling to live by this "golden rule" too. Here there is opportunity to come clean, to confess the struggle, and to invite my family to join me in our endeavor to live and treat people in ways that we want to be treated and not according to how they live and treat us. Maybe we can un-skew our crooked sense of the "golden rule."